Feeling a little down today. Down about life. Down about the near future. Down about my body. Down about my existence.
It sucks to know that on December 7, my birthday, I will be alone. Completely alone. My dad will be in Israel. My best friend will be in New York. My roommate will be at home. My mom, brother, and sister will be at church. I will be in Carrollton where I’m already alone most of the time. I know maybe I shouldn’t care, but it’s kind of a big deal. I’m not a huge birthday person, but the last thing I want to be is alone on it.
My body. Yeah I love my curves and bumps. Somedays, though, it’s just hard to love em. That day is today for me. I feel like a slob and can’t do anything about it cuz I don’t have time to go to the gym, and it’s pouring so I can’t go run.
I’ve done stuff today I wish I didn’t do and not done things I wish I did do. I don’t know anymore.
Honestly I’m writing this blog because I’m alone in my dorm, thinking too hard and thinking too much. It’s raining outside so that makes everything 10 times worse. Not to mention I had a pretty emotional weekend.
I know all of this will passover, God is with me and He is my strength, but sometimes I just need to type it out. I’m not trying to complain and I’m not looking for pity. I just needed to get it out of my system and since no one reads my stuff on here anyway I thought it would be an easy way to get it out.
Came home, changed into the sweats I sleep in, and I’m making myself tea. Cuddling up on my couch, doing homework and watching last night’s Gossip Girl. Trying to feel better. My head feels like it’s being squeezed, this isn’t cool.
I’m doing the same exact thing.
This song makes me happy :)